The Devil Ate My Homework and Other Lame Christian Excuses

When I was five years old the family gathered to open Christmas presents after the Christmas Eve candlelight service. With a broad smile, my uncle presented a large, round, and light present to me. I quickly unwrapped the gift, as any five year old would, to reveal a beautiful replica of a Native American drum. My father peered at my uncle, who was obviously childless at the time, with a look that only a parent can give to someone who has just gifted their child with a drum. I apparently loved the drum because a few weeks later, my dad decided to teach me a very important lesson on how drums work. He asked me, “Do you know how drums work? When you hit the drum the boom-boom fairies inside get jostled around and they bump into each other making the boom-boom sound. Would you like to see the fairires?” “OF COURSE!” I said. Then he took his knife and cut the drum’s membrane, and when he did, the boom-boom fairies escaped. The drum never worked again. See, parents are not interested in what’s right and wrong. Parents are concerned with what’s quiet and what is not.

This Christmas my sister, Megan, gave Isabelle a lovely gift: a bright green Tinkerbelle megaphone. You’ve never heard “Jesus Loves Me,” unless you’ve heard it through a toddler’s megaphone. I did what any reasonable parent would do. I hid it deep within the Bermuda Triangle of our closet. Because my daughter is smarter than I, it wasn’t long before she found it. “Jesus love me, this I know!” But then she started singing other songs, “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart; The more we get together, together, together; Part of that, world . . .” Instead of hiding the megaphone, cause she would find it anyway, I started recording what she was singing with my phone. Now when she learns a new song she wants to sing it, softly, into my phone so that she can hear it. I then email the songs to my family, and it’s a beautiful thing. I guess the megaphone wasn’t such a bad gift after all . . . What has God given you? How have you used it?

Last week we talked about heart, mind, soul, and strength people, and how they receive God’s word. Today I’d like to talk about what we do with what we have received. What is God calling you to become? God’s calling upon your life is your vocation. Your vocation is not necessarily your job. As my high school principal said during orientation, “Here is the place where you will learn the skills to pay the bills.” Your job is what you do to make a living. It’s what you fill out on your 1040. Your job is what you do, which is a little different than your occupation. Your occupation is what occupies most of your time. Your job may be to stack boxes in a warehouse, but your occupation is worrying about money. Maybe your job is maintaining websites, but your occupation is politics. Your job is what you do. Your occupation is what takes up most of your time. Your vocation is who you are called to be. Of course, the goal is for our job, occupation, and vocation to be one in the same, or what God is calling me to be is what I do, and it is evident in every area of my life. When I show up Monday morning to do what I do, am I doing it for the glory of God. Doctor, teacher, parent, lawyer, whatever, am I glorifying God today? If you have trouble answering this vocational question, am I doing God’s will, am I following God call upon my life, then you are in good company.

Jeremiah is standing before God and God says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” How would you react if God came to you saying, “I know you better than you know you. I have blessed you with a gift and this is how I want you to use it.” Would you say, “Here I am, Lord, send me!” Would you say to God, “Well, what exactly did you have in mind?” Maybe you would say, “Lord, you’ve got the wrong person.” The latter is Jeremiah’s reply to God. He says, “Lord, truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.” Scholars are unsure whether this means that Jeremiah was young or if Jeremiah felt inexperienced. For a moment, let’s assume Jeremiah is young. Those who work with children through Kids Hope USA know that some of the most profound things come from the mouths of babes, and this is precisely because they are young. Children like to ask, “why.” “Ok, I have to go to work,” Why? “So I can make money.” Why? “So that we can eat supper.” Why . . . and the conversation usually ends with “Because, I love you.” I am your father and I love you. Isn’t “why” the most common question we ask God? Why me? Why this? Why that? Why now? I imagine if we keep asking God, The Almighty would eventually reply, “Because, I am your father and I love you.”

When God speaks we are so quick to deliver excuses. Jeremiah has a good excuse. He’s young. He’s inexperienced. Are you sure? Really? (I hate these questions). But Jeremiah says, “Really?” Moses, I want you to free my people. Are you sure? I’m not good with words, per se. Gideon, go and deliver Israel from the hand of Midian. Are you sure? I don’t work out much. Solomon, You will be a great king. Are you sure?  I’m not the brightest bulb. The greatest prophets in history had excuses as to why God shouldn’t call them. I’m not strong enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not worthy. Jeremiah says, “I am too young,” and God says, “Shhh. Do not be afraid. I’ll give you everything you need.” What’s your excuse? God has a way with excuses.

God’s plan for Jeremiah is “To pluck up and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and the plant.” It’s a difficult job. I’d be lying if I said following God is always easy. I’d also by lying if I said it was never fulfilling and beautiful. Jeremiah records God’s words as a chiasm, meaning essentially that you start in one place and end in an opposite place. Pluck up to plant. Pull down to build up. It makes an X across the verse. Too often when God calls we place an X across what God has to say. When we do this, God puts himself of the X so that our excuses may be crucified. The Christ who was plucked up and placed on the cross was the same Christ who said, “youth doesn’t matter, let the children come to me.” The Christ who was pulled down and placed in a tomb, was the same Christ who saw a group of fishermen who said, “We’ve been fishing all night and haven’t caught anything,” before coming to shore with a new calling of fishing for people. The Christ who was destroyed and overthrown by the wisdom of the world, was the same Christ who gathered the disciples who said, “We do not have enough food to feed these people,” just before gathering 12 baskets of leftovers. Your excuses have been crucified. God has given you an extraordinary gift!  Go and take your bright green Tinkerbelle megaphone and go make beautiful music for the glory of God. Praise be to God. Amen.

So, The Fisherman’s Going to Teach Me To Fish?

Several years ago I was walking along the beach with my Dad. I asked him, “How do you know how God is working in the world?” He said, “Do you see that flock of seagulls overhead? I know that just beneath the surface of the water there is a school of fish. I don’t have to see the fish to know they are there. If you open your eyes to the world around you, you will be able to know what’s happening under the surface.” In our scripture lesson today, we do not know what Jesus said to the crowd. As a preacher, I wish I had the transcript of what Jesus said. That would certainly make sermon preparation easier. Nevertheless, I imagine that Jesus said something to the crowd like what my father said to me because Jesus tells Simon to go out into the deep water and let down the net, and the catch they bring in amazed everyone.

Jesus is walking along the lakeshore and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear more of what he had been preaching. He sees two boats on the shore with the fishermen cleaning their nets. They weren’t just closing up shop. They weren’t just breaking for breakfast. They had given up. I imagine that as they were cleaning their nets they were trying to figure out what to tell their wives and children when they were coming home with nothing. They weren’t flipping the sign from “open,” to “closed.” They had been defeated and deflated. This is to whom Jesus goes first. “Simon, I know that you are an expert fisherman. Can I borrow you for a moment . . . I know, I know, I’m sorry you have no fish, but I’m not hungry . . . I need your boat.” If you’re a fisherman and you have no fish, you may think that you are worthless. Not so. Not with Jesus. “Simon, you have something I need, and it’s not your fish.”

Jesus gets in the boat with Simon and asks him to put the boat out just a little from the shore. He sits and teaches the crowd. Again, we don’t know what he said, but it seems that when he was finished there was something missing. As he sits in the boat he leans over to Simon and asks him to put the boat out into the deep water for a catch. (Casual affair). Peter turns to Jesus and gives him an excuse. Now, those of you who were here last week know what’s about to happen. If you were living in 1st century Palestine and you knew your scriptures, reading this hot off the press, you know what’s about to happen. Moses—I’m not good with words. Isaiah—I’m a man of unclean lips. Gideon—I don’t work out much. Jeremiah—I’m too young. Peter—Lord, I know how to fish, and I’ve been fishing all night and I haven’t caught anything. But if you say so, I’ll do it. Peter gives Jesus an excuse. Remember what God does with excuses. He crucifies them so that you may be resurrected with a new life. You know that something miraculous is about to happen.

Simon puts the boat out into the deep water. Any fisherman will tell you that you don’t catch fish in the open water. You have to cast your line in the shallow water near rocks and logs and hiding places. Often the Gospel goes against the conventional wisdom of the world. A sower went out to sow some seeds. He threw seeds on good soil, on rocks, on the path. He flung seeds everywhere. This is a bad way to do business, but it’s a great way to evangelize. With the seeds being the word of God, we are to spread it everywhere, not just with those who we think is the good soil of the world. A man had two sons and one of them took his inheritance and squandered it. When he hit rock bottom he came home. Now, when he comes knocking on the door, you’re supposed to whip his but for being an idiot, right? The father runs out to meet him and dresses him in fine clothing and has a party. One footnote to this story: now that I have children, I’m very interested in what happened the morning after the party was thrown. I’m pretty sure daddy woke his son up early in the morning with a fresh new pair of work boots. A rich man had lots of wealth and he said to himself, “What should I do, I have lots of stuff. I know, I’ll build larger silos to keep even more stuff.” Then God said, “Your life is ending tonight, and what’s going to happen to all this stuff? There’s no room in heaven for your stuff.” A man had 100 sheep and one of them went missing. Aren’t you supposed to cut your losses and move on? The shepherd leaves the 99 in the wilderness to search for the one who is missing. Peter knows that putting his boat out into open water is foolish. He’s a fisherman. He knows this, but he does it because Jesus asked him to. What is Jesus asking you to do?

Maybe this means that a radical change is in store for you. Peter, James, and John came to shore with the fish, dropped everything, and followed. They dropped a fortune worth of fish, and followed Jesus. There may be something in your life which needs to be crucified so that you can follow Christ’s calling. But before you go into the office on Monday morning and quit your job to join the circus, we need to keep in mind to what Jesus called the fisherman. He didn’t say, “you were fishermen, and now you will be bankers.” He said, “you were fishermen, and now you will fish for men.” In other words, your gift for navigating the waters, your gift for organizing a crew, your gift for providing a community of people with food, will continue to be used, but it will be transformed into work for the kingdom. Peter, you have amazing gifts. Now, use them for the kingdom.

God speaks to some through the heart, some through the mind, soul, and strength. God speaks to you in a language you will be able to understand if you’re willing to listen. God has said, “You have a gift that no one else has, and I need you to use it for the Kingdom. If you are a fisherman and you think you have nothing to offer because you don’t have fish, Jesus will ask you to turn around and notice the unused boat, which is what he really needs anyway. Within each and every one of you lies the potential for an abundance of good, a good so great that you yourself will be unable to enjoy alone. Your calling is where your deep joy and the world’s deep hunger meet. Be true to yourself and the Christ who calls you beyond yourself.

So, The Fisherman's Going to Teach Me To Fish?

Several years ago I was walking along the beach with my Dad. I asked him, “How do you know how God is working in the world?” He said, “Do you see that flock of seagulls overhead? I know that just beneath the surface of the water there is a school of fish. I don’t have to see the fish to know they are there. If you open your eyes to the world around you, you will be able to know what’s happening under the surface.” In our scripture lesson today, we do not know what Jesus said to the crowd. As a preacher, I wish I had the transcript of what Jesus said. That would certainly make sermon preparation easier. Nevertheless, I imagine that Jesus said something to the crowd like what my father said to me because Jesus tells Simon to go out into the deep water and let down the net, and the catch they bring in amazed everyone.

Jesus is walking along the lakeshore and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear more of what he had been preaching. He sees two boats on the shore with the fishermen cleaning their nets. They weren’t just closing up shop. They weren’t just breaking for breakfast. They had given up. I imagine that as they were cleaning their nets they were trying to figure out what to tell their wives and children when they were coming home with nothing. They weren’t flipping the sign from “open,” to “closed.” They had been defeated and deflated. This is to whom Jesus goes first. “Simon, I know that you are an expert fisherman. Can I borrow you for a moment . . . I know, I know, I’m sorry you have no fish, but I’m not hungry . . . I need your boat.” If you’re a fisherman and you have no fish, you may think that you are worthless. Not so. Not with Jesus. “Simon, you have something I need, and it’s not your fish.”

Jesus gets in the boat with Simon and asks him to put the boat out just a little from the shore. He sits and teaches the crowd. Again, we don’t know what he said, but it seems that when he was finished there was something missing. As he sits in the boat he leans over to Simon and asks him to put the boat out into the deep water for a catch. (Casual affair). Peter turns to Jesus and gives him an excuse. Now, those of you who were here last week know what’s about to happen. If you were living in 1st century Palestine and you knew your scriptures, reading this hot off the press, you know what’s about to happen. Moses—I’m not good with words. Isaiah—I’m a man of unclean lips. Gideon—I don’t work out much. Jeremiah—I’m too young. Peter—Lord, I know how to fish, and I’ve been fishing all night and I haven’t caught anything. But if you say so, I’ll do it. Peter gives Jesus an excuse. Remember what God does with excuses. He crucifies them so that you may be resurrected with a new life. You know that something miraculous is about to happen.

Simon puts the boat out into the deep water. Any fisherman will tell you that you don’t catch fish in the open water. You have to cast your line in the shallow water near rocks and logs and hiding places. Often the Gospel goes against the conventional wisdom of the world. A sower went out to sow some seeds. He threw seeds on good soil, on rocks, on the path. He flung seeds everywhere. This is a bad way to do business, but it’s a great way to evangelize. With the seeds being the word of God, we are to spread it everywhere, not just with those who we think is the good soil of the world. A man had two sons and one of them took his inheritance and squandered it. When he hit rock bottom he came home. Now, when he comes knocking on the door, you’re supposed to whip his but for being an idiot, right? The father runs out to meet him and dresses him in fine clothing and has a party. One footnote to this story: now that I have children, I’m very interested in what happened the morning after the party was thrown. I’m pretty sure daddy woke his son up early in the morning with a fresh new pair of work boots. A rich man had lots of wealth and he said to himself, “What should I do, I have lots of stuff. I know, I’ll build larger silos to keep even more stuff.” Then God said, “Your life is ending tonight, and what’s going to happen to all this stuff? There’s no room in heaven for your stuff.” A man had 100 sheep and one of them went missing. Aren’t you supposed to cut your losses and move on? The shepherd leaves the 99 in the wilderness to search for the one who is missing. Peter knows that putting his boat out into open water is foolish. He’s a fisherman. He knows this, but he does it because Jesus asked him to. What is Jesus asking you to do?

Maybe this means that a radical change is in store for you. Peter, James, and John came to shore with the fish, dropped everything, and followed. They dropped a fortune worth of fish, and followed Jesus. There may be something in your life which needs to be crucified so that you can follow Christ’s calling. But before you go into the office on Monday morning and quit your job to join the circus, we need to keep in mind to what Jesus called the fisherman. He didn’t say, “you were fishermen, and now you will be bankers.” He said, “you were fishermen, and now you will fish for men.” In other words, your gift for navigating the waters, your gift for organizing a crew, your gift for providing a community of people with food, will continue to be used, but it will be transformed into work for the kingdom. Peter, you have amazing gifts. Now, use them for the kingdom.

God speaks to some through the heart, some through the mind, soul, and strength. God speaks to you in a language you will be able to understand if you’re willing to listen. God has said, “You have a gift that no one else has, and I need you to use it for the Kingdom. If you are a fisherman and you think you have nothing to offer because you don’t have fish, Jesus will ask you to turn around and notice the unused boat, which is what he really needs anyway. Within each and every one of you lies the potential for an abundance of good, a good so great that you yourself will be unable to enjoy alone. Your calling is where your deep joy and the world’s deep hunger meet. Be true to yourself and the Christ who calls you beyond yourself.